Dear bor-nnoying brunch munchers,
I made up the word “bor-nnoying” to give you a taste of your own bacon.
I mean, part of my whole problem with you is that you have to call it this dumb fucking word and not just breakfast or lunch. If it’s your first meal, then it’s breakfast. If you’ve already woken up from your alcohol-induced hibernation in the coat closet and downed a few bowls of your roommate’s Cocoa Krispies, then it’s lunch.
And Julie is pissed.
Speaking of which, who came up with that vulgar word, brunch, fucking Phoebe on Friends?! Do I offend you, brunchers, because you’re common, you’re washed up and, gasp, PREDICTABLE!! Take your turtlenecked asses outta here, stand in line for the ladies’ room for a half-hour, have a good cry in there and GET OUT.
Not to mention the fact that the restaurants just love for you to exorbitantly eat piles of eggs and bacon and pancakes (and to be drinking too, lovely excuse!) because it’s surely the cheapest meal for anyone to prepare.
Brunch, have I still not gotten across that you are common? No?
Burger King serves brunch.
There.
YOU SUCK BACON.